I’ve been hit hard.
You know when you go for something that you really want, then miss? You know ‘no’ is as good an answer as ‘yes’, that you should manage your expectations, but you still feel the impact of a dead end — that you should be a big girl; that big girls don’t cry; that you should dust yourself up and try again… Sob!
Well I’ve been hit. I’ve been hit hard. I had said that already, hadn’t I? No promises were broken but … Where’s that hankie?
There are some peculiar things which challenge our resilience; those which despite knowing at the back of your minds that they aren’t really good for us, we still can’t help but want them — badly! One of our expectations of God is for Him to save us from ourselves, but at such times of denial there is no coming around. We look up and shake fists at the sky asking “Why?!”
What is that irrational want? Why does it override our good senses and how can we clear away from it? How do we know what’s best yet still earnestly go for what’s not?
How human! But the idea of this gift of life and free will is to rule over the soul, and not the other way round. Like reigning wild horses.
The heart is wicked above all things. Sadly, we make it king. What comes about is the reality that it’s the ultimate coup d’état.
I ran into a wikihow page recently and you know what it’s advising you, me, your spouse, your son and your daughter? That sex never harmed anyone. Tell me that is not the effigy of twistedness and I’ll tell you the name of the president of Africa. I promise.
And we may shrug at that but insanity surrounds us, and stealthily we make the insanity the very foundations of our own lives. We search on earth what we can only find … elsewhere. At our Maker’s. Heaven. And it’s only in God that we are … complete — like a jigsaw puzzle — affecting eternity.
One of, if not the toughest of journeys ever taken by man is into self; to look into oneself and to understand the bolts, nooks and crannies, and to learn to do what’s good for them. You cannot take it on without bumping into the manual and the manufacturer. Who knows a design better than the designer? So it’s safe to say it can only start by getting acquainted with … Him.
So here I go. I intend to embark on it. A good number of us do too many pit stops. Sounds corny and cliché, doesn’t it? There is not a more important journey.
No one has ever seen or heard anything like this,
Never so much as imagined anything quite like it –
what God has arranged for those who love him.
1 Corinthians 2:9 The Message